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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26064859">The Lamentable Locations</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV), A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:53:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,489</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26064859</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Every location tells a story. This work explores the settings of the 13 books, and the characters that shaped them. There will be one chapter per book.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The House on the Corner</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>On the corner of the street, there is a house. It is large and ostentatious and beautiful, the house of a man who seeks to leave a mark on the world. The house is deliberately eye-catching: the bricks are a burnished red, and the windows shine like diamonds. With its tower, it is the tallest building on the street, and quite probably in the neighbourhood. The most prominent feature, however, is the emblem of an eye set in multicoloured glass above the front door. None of the neighbours can quite work out what it represents, and when they ask the owner, he simply deflects and smiles knowingly.</p><p>The owner is a Count, and an actor of some esteem. He may not be among the most talented, but he is skilled enough, and he is certainly among the most passionate. He throws his heart and soul into every performance, and the critics laud him for his dedication. He has charisma, charm, confidence; the certain belief that things will work out in his favor. And for a while, things do.</p><p>The house is lavishly equipped: there is a ballroom, and a formal dining hall. Both see frequent use as the Count likes to host dances and dinners and parties. Here he is most alive, surrounded by friends and admirers, the centre of attention. He is often seen in the company of an attractive young woman, so often, in fact, that the neighbours gossip, and place bets as to when they will be engaged. For a while, all is peaceful, all is well.</p><p>The Count leaves home to see the opera one evening. A different man returns.</p><p>It would not be fair to say that he was evil from that day forth, evil is not a switch that can be turned on or off, and even in the end there was a spark of good left in him. Evil however, is cunning and insidious, and on that night a seed is planted. A seed that festers in his heart, that is cultivated and nurtured by malevolent forces until almost consumes him. Gone is the passion for acting and balls and opera. Only the thirst for revenge remains.</p><p>Revenge is a powerful motivator, but not a healthy one. The Count falls into the bottle, and into villainy. His home falls into disrepair. The process is slow, but sure. When the chandelier in the ballroom falls, it is not replaced: why should it be, when no-one will dance there again? Over the years the windows dull, and the walls blacken with dirt and the soot from a hundred fires. It has become easy, the firestarting, the burning of all that oppose him. Why shouldn’t he do it? If he takes people’s homes from them, it is only because the universe has taken everything from him. Soon he sees nothing wrong with this rationalisation, can see no other path than the one in front of him. And so he walks it.</p><p>And he walks it alone. He has no friends anymore. Only acquaintances, and associates, and henchmen.  The Count drinks and plots and schemes, and soon he has forgotten friendship, forgotten love. The house no longer sings with music or laughter, only the cackles of a madman. By the time the Baudelaires arrive at the house, it is a shell of what it once was. They are made to clean and repair and replace, but it is far too little, far too late. The house is beyond saving. The house that should have become their home, instead becomes their prison.</p><p>It has now been many years since that fateful day when three children arrived on the doorstep, and the house lies derelict, forgotten. Ivy covers the walls.  Green plants grow through the windows. The symbol of an eye, once bright, is now invisible behind a covering of flowers. This house will never be a home again, but maybe one day it will be beautiful once more.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Reptile Room</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A small distance from the city, there is a road called Lousy Lane, and at the end of the lane there is a house. The house is not particularly large, nor is it particularly elegant, and although it has rather large grounds, the pervading smell of horseradish dissuades their use. As a result, the house has lain unused for many years, until one day, a young man arrives on the doorstep. He doesn’t see the house for the derelict building it is, but for the home it could one day become. It is less than a week before he returns, keys clutched in his hand, and the deeds in his pocket.</p><p>The work begins at once. A massive glass extension is constructed, a greenhouse of sorts, designed to maintain a tropical temperature even in the winter cold. For the man is a scientist, a herpetologist to be precise, and he intends to gather unusual specimens from all over the world. A hedge maze is planted, a special species of liguster chosen to counteract the horseradish smell. The gardener hired to do this wonders about the design of the maze, a sort of eye. He is sure he has seen the symbol before, but he keeps his questions to himself; he is not being paid for his opinions, only his green thumb. With a fresh lick of paint, “La Casa del Retille” is unrecognisable from its former self.</p><p>For the next few years, the man travels all over the world, from the jungles of Peru, to the deserts of North Africa, and the steppes of Central Asia. Everywhere he goes, he takes extensive notes, on the plants, the insects, and especially the reptiles. Occasionally he captures a particularly interesting specimen and takes it home with him. Soon the reptile rooms houses everything from singing lizards to a depressed crocodile. The reptiles need care even when the man is away, so he hires an assistant, an old acquaintance from school who moonlights as a film director. The two are soon fast friends.</p><p>For a while, everything is good. The Reptile Room’s menagerie grows until it is filled with a cacophony of sounds. The man’s research continues to cover the desks, the walls, and eventually the bookshelves. Soon the house’s library is unrivalled in the herpetological world. So too is its venom shelf. The man thinks of starting a family, but there never seems to be enough time. At any rate, he never seems to meet the right woman, going on a series of quite frankly disastrous dates before giving up.</p><p>One day, the man returns to the house, a new snake to add to the room. It is called the mamba du mal, and it is capable of imitating human speech. The man is so overjoyed by his discovery that he doesn’t even question an old friend’s request to teach it to communicate coded phrases. He just does it, writing down his results in a book under a clever pseudonym. He doesn’t stop to consider the consequences, and for a while, there are none.</p><p>And then the fires start. Many homes are destroyed, the horseradish factory burns to the ground. It is quickly replaced, but the smell of smoke pervades the area for many weeks. The man becomes cautious, guarded. The house gains a new security system, nothing must be allowed to breach the reptile room and harm the reptiles within. Weeks pass, and then months, and the man believes that the storm has blown over. Little does he know that events have been set into motion that will destroy all he holds dear.</p><p>It is more than ten years later when it starts. The assistant walks out into the grounds to communicate via radio. He is struck by a poisoned dart and falls into the pond. His body is not discovered for several weeks. The next day, three children arrive, their parents dead in a horrific fire that destroyed their home. The man welcomes them into his house, and the children feel at home for the first time in weeks. At last the man has what he has always wanted, a family.</p><p>It is not to last. A fourth new arrival brings an end to the peace. Soon the man lies dead on the floor of his beloved reptile room, and both the children, and the reptiles are rehomed once again. For many years, the house lies derelict once more.</p><p>The house is not sold for some time, but eventually, a young woman arrives on the doorstep. She doesn’t see the house for what it is, but for what it was, and could be once more. The house is perfect for her needs. She moves in almost immediately and begins to clean and repaint and refurnish. What was once the reptile room becomes a greenhouse for rare tropical plants, and although this is perhaps not what he intended, the man would surely be proud of what his home has become.</p>
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